Maybe Life Isn’t Worth It

Hey , how have you been? Are you well? Great so lately i’ve been thinking about how i, and everyone else, would be better off if i just you know, died. Hey so i’m thinking about killing myself. Well not technically. I want to put myself in a dangerous situation that will hopefully result in…

December thoughts

I need to admit this to myself, if not to anyone else. I haven’t gone to sleep before 1am since the end of September. That’s not me just procrastinating- that’s me in bed eyes shut willing myself to go to sleep but then there’s just nothing and I am wide awake. Even when I didn’t…

no.3

Young, foolish, naïve, splendid Tranquil moments in lapses of ecstasy. I bathed in moments of your happy Drank down the memories Drowned in the lust. I felt every word Valued all the promises. Magnificent words to coat the knife That cut me up.

some poem no. 2

I was fire Dulled by your will. I was fear Freed by your compliments. I was numb Felt by your hands But I was dead And you let me fall.

some poem

You kiss me cliché butterflies Reminisce in those dark under eyes Grasping a feeling that no longer reigns Holding onto water and knowing pain. Fire work veins calling bloody names Sweet ashes mourn those better days.

Not Me

Prepare for typos for I will not edit this. Did I make the right choice? Is this what I’m meant to be doing? Is this my career? For months now I’ve contemplating whether or not I am in the right place jobwise. What my job title even is now I am unsure of. Assistant manager…

October thoughts

It’s been almost year since I felt remotely like this. I desperately tried to reach out and do things with friends, but all they said was that they’re busy. Then didn’t try to suggest when they were free. It’s okay I can take the hint. You don’t like me much. I’ll stop bothering you all….

Ghost

I have always taken time to come out of my shell. Never the outgoing one. Not the one to air my opinions or voice a feeling. This is my downfall. Sending tiny hints that no one will guess. Keep it all to myself. Never admitting when I need help. Locking up my heart so tight…

Please help

I’ve been putting out subtle hints. Silent screams. I am not okay. I feel nothing. Empty. Lost. Is anyone listening? Does anyone care? Who do I go to when all the lights go Out? Going for drives. Getting lost. On purpose. Standing outside in a storm. Walking on the edge of cliff. Wondering about death….