Second Best

I am forever cursed to be second best. The unwanted, the almost, the one we all forget.

‘we really liked you but the job went to someone else’- of cause, there was nothing more I could have done. My best is never enough.

‘I like someone else’- clearly, she’s prettier and more open than I ever was. Its not difficult to see why you gave up on this.

‘I’m in love with someone else’- no comment.

Story of my life.

For just once I’d like to be the first choice, not the only choice. Not picked just because there is no other option. But chosen because I am the best, wanted, loved.

I want to come out of an interview feeling confident, and for that feeling to be true, just once. To believe in something for it to actually to happen.

Every time I feel like something went well I am proven otherwise.

That interview felt really good. I answered all the questions well, I have the relevant experience for the job. This could be a career start, the beginning for me. I could move out.

Spoke too soon. The jobs not mine. Again and again.

I don’t want to look at things so negatively but all my experience has led me to the conclusion that I am not good enough. Never worthy of anything worthwhile.

Lock myself away, never hear the words ‘unsuccessful application’ again.

Give me a break please.

Why is this so unfair, surely I deserve something good to come my way. I’ve done enough waiting. Its time now for something to come along.

Life is not fair.

I am not where I want to be.dgfhjk

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