External Changes, Take Control

Distractions are great for short term problem solving. They provide a short solution to the dark thoughts.

Changing things I have control of also help. Getting control of something external helps me settle the inner battle.

I move my room around a lot; it’s good for that Feng shui stuff the Chinese talk about. It gives me something to do with my hands, its physical, it makes me think about where to best move my furniture. I feel better for doing it afterwards. A new fresh environment, I clean everything, change my bed sheets. But there’s only so many times I can do that.

The other main thing I do is change my hair, because that’s a physical part of me. Changing my hair colour changes how I look on the outside, same with getting a haircut. Though I constantly battle with myself over wanting short or long hair and getting frustrated with growing it out. My hair is my tool for confidence. A new colour makes me feel new. Yes I’ve fucked up my hair in the past by dying it too often but I’ll just cut it off again. Its only hair, it’ll grow back.

This is the type of change I am happy with. I control this change, I am in charge of these parts of me. It’s the only piece of me I own.

When everything else seems to go the wrong way, take control of what you can and change something for the better.


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