I’ve been job hopping a bit lately, it’s all within good reason, trust me.

I’ve been job hopping a bit lately, it’s all within good reason, trust me.
I’m looking for happiness.
Most people just plod through their job because they’re comfortable, a full time consistent wage. You know what you’re doing so you just get on with it. But are you happy?
No I wasn’t.
I’ve already discussed the main reason for my quitting a full time job and my part time job at the cinema. VUE hey look I can say that now I don’t work there and there’s nothing they can do about it. Suck on that hater.
First I’d like to say that I’m really struggling working full time hours again. Not because it’s been awhile but because I feel both physically and mentally drained. Yes depression I’m talking about you. It’s just there, telling me I’m not good enough I need to do better or just stop. It latches me to my bed at 530am when I need to get up. It tells me I can’t do anything after work because those 7 hours were just too much for one day. That I need to nap before I even think about walking the dog.
I don’t know if I can be happy working a full time job.
That’s why I have 2 jobs that equal to full time right now.
One where I work as part of a team and the other where I get to be alone.
I’m happy working alone. Not happy about leaving a secluded area with no cctv late at night on my own.
I’m almost 25, apparently according to my mum, I should have a career by now. But I don’t know what the fuck I want to do.
What do I want ?
To be happy.
How do I be happy? That’s the real question.
Work is a huge part of life, we’re there for half the day, it gives us money go do stuff and go places and pays the bills. So why should I get comfortable and settle for a job I hate? Hating a job so much before brought me into suicide street and I’d rather not revisit that again. I will not settle for it just because I need a job. I don’t want to dred waking up before I go to sleep, or feel my blood physically boil all day just from being in a hateful place. I have to do what is best for me.
If it’s right to quit then that’s what I’ll do.
I quit with immediate effective.
I quit and give a notice and then never show up for work again. They didn’t care, they didn’t call, just a dull unthoughtful email.
Can’t work in a place that doesn’t care, that makes me feel alone when I’m surrounded by other’s.
I’m trying to be happy somewhere.
But I don’t know what I want apart from that. What direction I should go in. Go back to uni, do online course, back to volunteering.
Give me a sign or something, show me the way.
I don’t want to be just another number.
I am human.
I feel.
It’s okay to change jobs if I’m not happy. Accept it. Understand it.


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