It’s Back And We Don’t Want To Believe It

Have you ever missed a step as you’re coming down the stairs? Have you ever swam in the sea an gone too far? Thrust under by an unexpected wave. Rummaged through your bag but can’t find your house keys? Lost something important? Forgot to set your alarm for work the next day? Forgot to put…

Dissociation

Have you ever stared at the wall for hours? Ever gone for a walk and not remembered where you’d been? Been driving and cannot recall how you reached your destination? Stood in a crowded room full of people you know and not remembered anything said? Laid in the arms of someone you trust or love…

You’ve been alone for too long

In keeping with my theme of attempting to process my emotions through logic and reasoning and I am once again writing this. Hello again, it’s been a little while. Been a little preoccupied what with being a new teacher and all. There’s potentially another post in the making for that as its own subject. So…

Why Do I Hate My Appearance?

Hello Reader,  Welcome to another self-therapy post. Today’s topic explores some thoughts around why I hate my myself- appearance in particular.  Why do I hate myself so much?  Why do I honestly believe I deserve every criticism?  Why do I hate my body?  Why does my mind hate me so much?  Why can’t I see…

Talking, Opening Up To Those Who Don’t ‘Get It’

Dear Reader,  This one is less of a self-therapy session and more of an acknowledgement of yourself and those unlike you and I.  You and I understand each other. Or at least you try to. I am so grateful for that; thank you. We know that minds require healing just as much as broken bones…

The Struggles Of Asking For Help With The Taboo Of Mental Health

Sticking to the theme of compartmentalising let’s discuss asking for help- how I’ve blocked the below from my mind until it pops up in a flashback triggered by a similar event. Picking up the phone, going to the GP, getting medication, having therapy to help your mental health. I’m looking at 2016 versus today.  …

Smile At The Men Who Flirt And Try To Touch You.

Am I not processing emotions properly because I have compartmentalized so much shit that my brain no longer knows how to handle things?  Well, yeah.  What’s your happiest memory from your childhood? If you had asked me that two years ago I would’ve said Disneyland Paris but something triggered a memory I had lost that…

Impulsive Behaviours

Welcome once again to the series of delving deep into my own psyche in order to decipher how broken I am. There’s a valid why I’m writing all this shit out at the moment. I have a mental health assessment call on Monday. There are too many things that surpass just the ‘vanilla’ brand of…

Why Do I Fear Rejection?(edited)

Welcome back to another self-exploratory edition of: how fucked up do I think I am?  Today’s topic: fear of rejection/fear of abandonment. Ooo it’s a biggy. Shout it with me folks. FEAR. OF. REJECTION.   Got too excited about this one didn’t we.   Let’s divide rejection up with my magnifying glass into sections.  …

Why Do I Self-Sabotage?

Therapy is expensive and I am broke. It’ll probably take weeks through the NHS to get anywhere so for right now I am unpacking my mentally traumatized ass here. I’m going on a fucking adventure. Journey of self-discovery. Starting with self-sabotaging.   I am my own worst enemy.  I hate myself. Which is something I…